BDSM gets a bad rep due to misguided media portrayals and pervasive taboos, but it can be a fun and exciting way to explore your sexual interests. Whether you are new to this type of play or looking for more intense kink toys, there is a lot to explore.
Practicing BDSM safely requires clear communication with your partner and use of a safe word. Toys like leashes, collars, and clamps are used to restrict movement or signify dominance in a D/S relationship.
What is BDSM?
BDSM gets a bad rep thanks to skewed media portrayals (please, for the love of your vagina, retire Fifty Shades) and pervasive taboos, but it’s more than just fetish gear and handcuffs. It’s a safe way for people to sexually explore and push their limits, all within a finite set of rules and restrictions.
One of the most important things to remember when exploring BDSM is to always practice in a safe space, and to use a safe word or another method of communication if something becomes uncomfortable. It’s also a good idea to test out toys before you introduce them to your partner to make sure they’re comfortable with the level of sensation or pain.
As with any type of kink play, BDSM can be highly personal, and the experience is different for everyone. Some participants choose to be solely a dominant or submissive player, while others switch back and forth between roles. And while many people engage in BDSM alone, more than two participants can participate together, as long as it’s consensual.
For those new to BDSM, it can be easy to overdo it when starting out. That’s why we suggest starting slow with toys like this ice cube or this vibrator, and then progressing to more intense items like these leather leg binders, this shackle or this flogger from The Stockroom. They’re ideal for enhancing punishment play and are available in several levels of intensity so you can gradually increase your tolerance.
BDSM Toys
BDSM gear is made up of toys designed to help you practice your kinks (think bondage, dominance, submission and sadism). Depending on your kinks, you might want to explore sensation play with a feather that creates the gentlest flutter, or you could opt for a Wartenberg Pinwheel that has sharp spikes. You might also be interested in impact play with a whip or paddle. Other BDSM gear includes handcuffs and restraints, mouth gags, nipple clamps, spanking paddles or more elaborate tools like the infamous fucking machine.
For a more intense experience, try a ball gag which muffles the sub’s moans and can be used for delicious drool play. Or, if you want to experiment with power play and a touchy feely with your partner, use a nipple clamp or a nipple tie. If you prefer more of a bondage-style experience, Mistress Damiana Chi, who appeared on the Discovery+ series House of Hammer, recommends trying a leather pair of cuffs or a riding crop.
BDSM equipment is available on any budget, and many kink enthusiasts recommend starting slow to avoid overwhelming yourself. It’s important to discuss consent and safe words with your partner, and always use a lot of lube. BDSM play can be as intense or as soft as you make it, and it’s the perfect way to explore your own sexual desires in a safe space.
BDSM Clothing
Fetish clothing is a staple in the BDSM world. This style of clothing creates a special atmosphere that allows for many different types of play and kink. The fetish industry has been on the rise for a long time, with BDSM practices including bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. This kinky style of clothing has become more prevalent in popular culture, with celebrities like Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian wearing latex and leather costumes.
BDSM clothes are typically made of materials such as leather, latex, and PVC. These materials are tight-fitting and can be molded to accentuate the body. BDSM clothing is typically worn in the bedroom or at kinky events, and can range from simple leather harnesses to full-body latex suits.
Many BDSM enthusiasts also enjoy wearing accessories such as collars. These are usually worn by the submissive and serve as a sign of their submission. They can be used to control the submissive’s movements, and can help reinforce a hierarchy of power between the Dom and the sub. Collars can also be used to signal the start and end of a scene, and may even be paired with a leash for maximum effect.
Another popular accessory for BDSM lovers is a nipples clamp. This is a device that is placed around the nipples, and can be used to increase the size of the nipples or to restrict blood flow.
BDSM Accessories
If you’re interested in BDSM and its many kinks, you’ll want to have some special equipment. Depending on your kinks, you may need handcuffs and restraints, or perhaps a spanking paddle or riding crop. Those who enjoy oral sex might like a nipple clamp or a mouth gag.
For those who are into bondage, you’ll find a variety of collars that you can use to create the ultimate in-bed experience with your partner. Collars can be a bold symbol of dominance or submissiveness, and some even come with leashes to allow you to be led around while in bed.
Another kinky piece of BDSM gear is the gag bar. This device resembles a choker, but instead of a loop that goes around the neck it has a horizontal bar that’s meant to fit in between your teeth. This is designed to prevent you from speaking, and it can also be used for drool play.
For a more intense sex experience, try a ball gag. Similar to a squirt bottle, this is meant to restrict your speech while offering a breathable feel. Queen suggests using a perforated ball, which will allow you to mumble but won’t let you talk through your teeth. You can also experiment with a simple blindfold to add a new sensation to your oral sex game.
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