BDSM can be emotionally and physically taxing on both partners. This is why aftercare is so important. It’s the way a Dom cares for their sub after a scene.
It can include washing a sub and treating wounds like marks and bruises from bondage play. It also involves re-establishing the dynamic.
It’s as much about mental aftercare as physical
BDSM can be mentally and physically draining, especially for Doms. It is important for both partners to take the time after playtime to relax and care for each other’s needs. This care can be in the form of massages, sweet and caring text messages or extra kinky attention. This can help both doms and subs transition back to “reality” smoothly.
The endorphin and adrenaline boost during a BDSM scene can cause a massive hormone high, which can make it hard to come down from. This is often referred to as drop, and it can occur immediately after the scene or hours later. Without aftercare, this drop can be extremely uncomfortable for both the sub and Dom.
A good aftercare plan will include taking the time to heal any wounds, soothe abrasions and clean up any penetration marks. It should also include a drink of water and a light snack to prevent dehydration and blood sugar crashes. Depending on the situation, some subs may need cuddles or other emotional comfort, while others may feel more comfortable in solitude. It is important to communicate aftercare needs during negotiations.
Doms can also use aftercare as an opportunity to re-establish their dominance, reassuring the sub that they are safe and loved. This can be a powerful way to counteract the sub’s negative feelings after the session, and it can prevent drop.
It’s a way to re-establish the dynamic
Aftercare is an important part of kink and sex. It allows both partners to connect emotionally and physically after a scene. This can involve anything from cuddling to bringing the other person a glass of water after a kink session. It also involves having a conversation about how the sex-play felt and what worked or didn’t.
After care is especially important for submissive people, because it helps them get back to their normal roles. It can be difficult to readjust after a BDSM scene and return to their day-to-day lives, particularly if the scenes are intense or involve lots of mental drifting.
The aftercare process is an opportunity for the Dom to show that they care about their sub’s well-being. This can include things like bringing the sub a glass of water, cleaning up any mess made by the scene, and giving them hugs. It can also include massages, lotioning consented spanked areas, and other pampering techniques. It can even be as simple as having a pillow talk.
Another important aspect of aftercare is addressing the hormonal drops that may occur after an intense kink scene. All sex produces a cocktail of natural highs, including the mood-booster dopamine, pain-killing endorphins, and bonding hormone oxytocin. When the adrenaline and cortisol levels drop, it can lead to feelings of shame or anxiety. Aftercare is an excellent way to prevent this from happening.
It’s a way to prevent sub-drop
Sub drop is the low point that a sub experiences after their BDSM scene. It can last for a few hours or even days after the scene is over. Usually it’s caused by the body lowering its levels of pleasurable hormones. It can lead to doubt, depression, apathy, brain fog, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness.
The best way to prevent sub drop is to take it seriously and communicate with your Dom about what you need after a scene. It’s also important to have a first aid kit handy. For example, a Dom can bring Advil to help with pain and swelling after a hard scene. They can also use a lotion to massage sore muscles, especially after bondage play.
Another option is to bring a stuffie or soft toy to the sub after a session. Littles especially love these and they can be very comforting. In addition to a stuffie, it’s a good idea for a Dom to cuddle with their sub after the session. This will help to soothe them and ease them back into reality.
It’s important for a Dom to remember that not all subs want cuddles after a session. Some may prefer to cuddle with a friend, or just need time alone. In such cases, it’s important for a Dom to be aware of the sub’s needs and communicate them clearly.
It’s a way to avoid top drop
BDSM aftercare is an important part of the scene, especially for bottoms. It is a way to connect with your play partner and ease the transition out of a high emotional/endorphin experience. It often includes physical contact, cuddling and other forms of affection. It can also include giving a massage or applying ointment to any bruises or abrasions that may have occurred during the scene. It is essential to communicate and experiment with what your particular play partner enjoys. Some people need slow sex or just want to be cuddled, while others prefer a sensual bath or even a nipple rubbing.
Doms can also benefit from aftercare. They may have a hard time returning to their normal head space after a scene where they have been dominated, hit and humiliated. Getting some aftercare from their sub can help them feel like their actions are appreciated and wanted.
Talking about triggers and trauma can also be a form of aftercare for dominants and subs. It is a way to ensure both partners are comfortable with what has happened and it can even alleviate the guilt that some dominators have around hitting their bottoms. Having the ability to discuss things like this in a safe and trusted environment can really help both people heal after a traumatic scene. They can also find out what works and what doesn’t to reduce the likelihood of future incidents.
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