We all have a baseline level of libido, and it can be high at times. Lehmiller calls libido “bio-psycho-social,” meaning there are biological elements, psychological, and social factors that can cause you to feel horny.
Your hormones play a big role, and changes in them can increase or decrease your libido. But other factors can also affect it, including:
1. Hormones
There are many things that can lead to a high libido, and it’s important for people to understand that having a higher one isn’t something that should be shunned. Some of the causes include hormones, underlying medical issues and personal issues.
There’s no ‘normal’ sex drive and people’s desire for sex can change all the time. This is especially true for women, as they can go through periods of having a very high or low libido.
A doctor will be able to help you determine the cause of your high or low libido, and can recommend ways to increase it. They may prescribe hormones (estrogen for women, testosterone for men) or drugs that increase sexual arousal, including sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra) and tadalafil (Cialis). They may also suggest therapy as an individual or as a couple so you can work on personal and relationship issues. Some medications also kill libido, so if you’re on any of these it’s a good idea to discuss this with your doctor. They can help you adjust the dosage or switch to another medication, if that’s an option.
2. Stress
When you’re stressed, your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol, which obliterates libido. But exercise, eating healthy foods and sleeping enough to feel rested can help increase your libido. It can also help to talk openly with your partner about sex, says sexologist Shamyra Howard.
Having a high libido isn’t always a bad thing, but it can become an issue when the desire for sexual activity becomes compulsive. This is known as hypersexuality, and can have a negative impact on your life and relationships.
If you’re concerned about your libido, it’s important to consult with your doctor. They can determine whether the problem is caused by medications, chronic health conditions or stressors in your life. If needed, they can suggest ways to reduce your stressors or change medications that could be affecting your libido. They can also recommend sex-positive therapists who can help you explore your thoughts, feelings and desires without shame. This will help you understand your libido and work out how to manage it as your needs change.
3. Anxiety
Sex drive, or libido, is an involuntary desire to engage in sexual activity that is often described as feeling “horny”. A high sex drive can have positive health consequences, but it can also be a sign of mental and emotional distress. In some cases, it can lead to compulsive sexual behavior and even addiction.
A person’s libido can be affected by various factors, including diet, exercise, and sleep. Certain medications can also affect libido, including some popular antidepressants. If your sex drive is so high that it is affecting other areas of your life, it’s important to speak with a therapist about your feelings.
There is no one-size-fits-all definition of a healthy libido, and it can change throughout the course of a person’s life. However, if your sex drive is so high that you are engaging in risky behaviors or are turning to sexual behavior as a way of dealing with stress, it’s worth seeking help from a therapist. There are many different options available, including talk therapy and programs that focus on sexual addiction.
4. Lack of sleep
Getting adequate sleep is vital to healthy function. It is responsible for regulating hormones that affect the body, including those involved in sexual arousal. Insufficient sleep can cause an individual to feel sluggish and irritable which will likely impact their libido. It can also cause a lack of interest in sex, as well as a decreased ability to concentrate and focus.
Although it isn’t always the case, in some cases a high sex drive can indicate an underlying issue that may need to be addressed. This could include past negative or abusive experiences, an eating disorder, or a psychological condition like depression.
Overall, a high sex drive is nothing to be ashamed of, but if it starts interfering with your life or causing stress in relationships, it’s probably best to seek professional help. In many cases, this means speaking to a sex therapist who can help you understand and manage your sexual drive and your symptoms. They can also help you find healthy ways to channel your energy, such as exercising or spending time with friends and family.
5. Relationships
Even if you’re feeling horny, don’t take it out on your partner if they aren’t up for sex. Having different sexual desires is completely normal and is often caused by other factors, like hormones, stress or lack of sleep. Instead, focus on building your connection with them and communicate about it.
If your sex drive is causing you or your partner distress, make an appointment with your doctor. They can identify any underlying medical causes, suggest lifestyle changes and prescribe or adjust medications. Alternatively, you can also seek out a sex therapist for support and guidance on how to manage a high libido without shame.
A strong libido is not only normal but is something to be treasured. But, if you’re experiencing peaks and troughs in your sexual desire and it’s negatively impacting other parts of your life, then it might be worth exploring some of the options above. Thankfully, there’s always hope — and your doctor or a sex therapist can help you find it. If you need help, call for a free consultation today.
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