There are a number of things that can cause low libido. If you think it might be something medical, make sure to speak with a doctor. Otherwise, foreplay is a great way to get your partner in the mood for sex.
Try texting lust notes, giving extra kisses, or reading erotica during the day. These little things can build up to arousal over time.
1. Take a Bath
Despite how often we see couples in books and movies bursting into the bedroom, real life isn’t always so easy to get turned on. There are bills, kids, pets, chores, and work stress to deal with, and sometimes sex is the last thing on your mind by the time you get home.
Luckily, there are some things you can try to get in the mood for sex even when you’re tired and cranky. Try one of these tips to arouse your libido:
A warm bath is a great way to relax and let your thoughts wander to sexier things. You could also turn up the heat by lighting a few candles or adding scented oils to the tub. Alternatively, you could turn on some hot music or a porn movie that features sexy cuffing and moans (try CrashPadSeries). Reading about people having sex can also be a sexy way to get in the mood—check out Literotica for some juicy stories or Sugar Butch Chronicles for some fun visuals. Getting comfortable touching your body can also help turn you on—try giving yourself a little massage or stroking your tummy.
2. Read a Romantic Book
Whether you salivate over historical fiction rich with the fluttering hearts of yesteryear, paranormal romance that proves you don’t need flesh and blood to spice up your life or rom-coms that make you blush on public transit, reading a romantic book can boost your mood. It’s also a great way to explore your own fantasies before they can get out of hand in the bedroom.
While stuffy English professors might turn their noses at erotic literature, it can actually have some serious mental health benefits for women. It can help them reframe negative emotions into positive ones like excitement and anticipation. This can be particularly helpful for women who might find it difficult to express their sexual desires to their partners without fear of being judged.
If you want to try out some new kinky positions in bed, check out these books. Many of them are designed to teach you how to perform certain positions with your partner or just give you some ideas to get the sparks flying. You could even buddy read these with your sexy partner.
3. Watch a Romantic Movie
The right movie can have a powerful effect on your mood. It can shape the way you think and help you feel in a romantic state. It can also inspire you to pursue your passion.
If you want to turn up the heat, try watching a steamy romance. A sexy flick can help you feel turned on and create a sexy atmosphere for your date night.
It can even make you more receptive to physical intimacy. Research suggests that arousal can be triggered by a combination of biochemical lightning bolts and psychological longing. Watching a sexy movie can trigger this combination and lead to an epic romp.
Whether you’re in the mood for romance or a little erotica, there’s a movie out there that will satisfy your cravings. Here are a few steamy romance movies to try out:
4. Play a Game
The ebb and flow of desire in a romantic relationship is natural, but playing sexy games can help bring out the fire again. “Sexy games can get your adrenaline pumping, increase sexual anticipation and create arousal,” says sexpert Marla Renee Stewart at Lovers.
One classic game involves spelling out each other’s erotic body parts, such as chest/breasts, butt and genitals. When the other person calls out the name, you touch that specific part of their body and use only sounds like “mmm” and “ahh” to communicate how it feels. The first to touch all the spots wins, and this game is also great for learning where your partner loves to be touched.
Another fun game involves placing flavored lubricant in four different places on the body and telling your partner to find them all. This is a great way to explore shadowy crevices and erogenous zones that are often overlooked. Some couples also play with a “safe word,” which is used to end the game at any time. This can build trust and confidence, especially during role-playing games.
5. Send a Love Message
Many people find themselves not in the mood for sex at some point, and it’s often because their hormone levels are out of balance. The good news is that there are ways to help rebalance them, including exercise, eating well, and taking care of your emotional needs.
Other common reasons for low libido include feeling bored or restless with your current sexual experiences, or simply being tired of your everyday routine. These reasons can be remedied by getting out of your regular environment—like going on a vacation or weekend getaway.
It’s also important to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling, and what kind of sexy experience you’d like to have together. This is called responsive desire and is completely normal. You can even leave a lust note for them or put out sexy objects in their room that remind them of what they want to experience. You could also text them a dirty message or whisper something hot in their ear. These small touches can help to get them turned on, and can be a great way to build anticipation before the actual foreplay begins.
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