Whether it’s a casual encounter destined to be a one-night stand or the start of something more serious, having sex with a new partner can be thrilling and intimidating. But what differentiates a memorable first-time experience from one that’s just mediocre can often come down to preparation.
For example, strong communication is crucial to new relationships, and that’s especially true when it comes to sex.
1. Go Slow
There’s nothing wrong with fast sex, but if you’re just getting to know someone, taking it slow can be a great way to focus on connecting with them. It’s also an opportunity to learn about their beliefs and values, which can help you determine if they’re the right partner for you.
Another benefit of going slow is that it gives you the time to talk to your partner and build up anticipation. You can use this time to discuss boundaries, kinks, and moves that both of you find turn on. You can also talk about what your expectations are for sexual intimacy. This is an important part of any relationship, but even more so in the bedroom.
Finally, it’s important to slow down your breathing when you’re preparing for sex. This will prevent you from climaxing too early and may even help you to avoid it altogether.
As you’re moving into foreplay, one of the best tips is to start with eye contact. Locking eyes with your partner can be a powerful aphrodisiac and create a sense of connection that transcends the physical. You can also try kissing each other and stroking each other’s erogenous zones to build up arousal. Be sure to stay focused on each other as you do this, and remember to breathe deeply to help keep your energy levels up.
2. Don’t Fake It
Trying too hard to impress can make your new sex partner feel nervous and take all the fun out of it. It’s better to be honest about what feels good and what doesn’t. Your partner will appreciate your honesty and will be more likely to open up to you about their needs and wants.
For example, it’s tempting to tell your new partner that everything you do makes them orgasm. But this is not the time to do it, especially if you’re having sex for the first time with them. It’s more important that you get to know them and learn what they like and don’t like so you can continue to improve your sex game.
When it comes to orgasms, your goal is not to get them to ejaculate, but rather to connect with them physically and see what they’re into. Unless they’re a natural orgasm-er, you probably won’t be able to get them to orgasm on the first try. But that’s okay because you have time to work on it.
Don’t be afraid to say things like, “Wow, your tongue could win the Olympics,” or, “Your thighs are so tight!” This will let them know you’re into it and help you keep things steamy. But be careful not to use any blaming or shaming language, as this will put them on edge and make them defensive.
3. Let It Happen
Having sex with someone new is often a very intimate experience. This can be exhilarating and exciting but also a bit nerve-wracking. If you are going to have sex with a new partner it is important to let the process happen naturally.
This means not forcing the issue of sex and just enjoying each other. If you are feeling horny and ready to have sex then that is great, but remember to take it slow. This will not only help you relax but will also ensure that the sex feels good and is not painful.
A lot of times sex with a new partner is uncomfortable or clumsy and that is okay. What worked with your last long term sexual partner may not work with this one and that is okay.
For example, if you like to be touched in certain ways and your new partner does not, don’t force it. This is a good time to try different things to see what works for both of you. You may be surprised to find that what your new partner prefers feels really good to you.
Foreplay is a huge part of having sex and this can be done in many ways. Be creative, use your imagination and make it fun for both of you. This is a time to learn about each other and to create an amazing experience.
4. Be Open
When it comes to sexual intimacy, the key to success is being open. Being open to whatever your partner wants and needs is important, but it’s also important to communicate what turns you on and what doesn’t. It’s helpful to do this before you have sex because it helps ensure that your partners know what each of you are looking for in the bedroom. It’s also a great way to establish boundaries and prevent surprises.
Communicating about sex can be tricky, especially when you’re trying something new. It’s hard to predict what will feel good for someone else, so it’s best to take it slow and ask for permission before you do anything. It’s also a good idea to be open with your partner about how much you want to initiate sex and what specific actions you enjoy most.
It’s also a good idea to check in with your partner during and after sex to make sure they’re comfortable. If they aren’t feeling it, don’t take it personally — they may be in a different mood or not ready to move forward. It’s a sign that they care about you and want to keep the experience as safe as possible. Remember, if it doesn’t work out the first time around, try again later. It might feel weird at first, but the experience will get better with each attempt.
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