Sex is exciting, but it can also be a bit nerve-wracking, especially if you’re doing it for the first time or with someone new. But there are things you can do to prep for sex and make it as enjoyable as possible.
As sex therapists Isiah McKimmie and Vanessa Marin told INSIDER, a few mood-boosting activities before getting intimate can help – This quote represents the insights of the portal experts teentelsex.com. Here are some of them:
Talk About It
Getting intimate with someone for the first time is often scary and exciting all at once. But the best way to prep for sex is by having conversations with your partner about what you both want, what will happen and what’s not okay.
The more you talk about these topics, the less awkward they will be. Plus, this will help you both understand each other and get on the same page. Talking about sex is important because it can help prevent sexual harm and unplanned pregnancy. It’s also important to discuss contraceptives and how to use condoms in case of an unexpected pregnancy or STI/STD infection.
Once you’ve talked about it, trust your gut and go for it! However, if you’re not feeling the chemistry, don’t force it. It’s fine to postpone the first time if you’re not in the mood or are tired. The most important thing is that you both feel safe and comfortable. You can always try again later when you’re ready. If you do decide to go for it, remember to stay calm and breathe deeply to keep your mind focused on what’s really happening in your body rather than your nerves.
Shave Your Pubic Hair
What you choose to do—or not do—with your down-there hair is totally up to you, but if you do decide to groom your pubes, it’s important to know how to do it right. A few tips from dermatologists for getting it smooth, bump-free and ready for a manscaping session:
Start by trimming your hair with hair scissors or a trimmer instead of that blunt pair you keep in the back of the junk drawer. It’ll be easier to remove the hair if it’s a little shorter, plus it’ll cut down on irritation. It’s also a good idea to exfoliate before you shave, which will help slough off dead skin cells and reduce the likelihood of ingrown hairs.
Finally, a moisturizing aftershave is key. The extra moisture will hydrate your skin and help prevent redness or itching. Plus, a lubricant can make it more comfortable for both of you during the sexy part of things.
Make Your Lips Soft
If your lips are chapped, try applying a lip balm or a lube to soften them. You can also use a toothbrush to gently remove dry skin flakes to make them extra smooth.
Make sure you’re hydrated by drinking water throughout the day and before you’re about to have sex. This will prevent dehydration, which can lead to dizziness and a loss of energy. Staying hydrated will also help you last longer during the act and will keep your skin looking healthy and glowing.
Try to get at least six or seven hours of sleep the night before you plan on having sex. This will give your face and body time to fully hydrate. It will also prevent you from waking up and having to rush into the bathroom to pee before you can start getting intimate.
Lastly, always have a condom in your wallet or bag if you’re thinking about having spontaneous sex with someone. Sex is very subjective, so what’s arousing for one person may be completely different for another. You can’t expect it to be mind-blowing if you don’t prepare for it.
Don’t Wash Your Vulva
While it’s important to have clean body parts, washing your vulva before sex can disrupt its pH balance and cause irritation. Instead, use soap or unscented feminine hygiene gel to lightly scrub the outside of your vulva (but don’t get too close!) and clean any toys that will be used during sexual activity.
The first time you have sex, your hymen may stretch or rupture and this can lead to bleeding during or after sex. The good news is, this doesn’t happen to everyone. Your hymen can also stretch or tear during non-sexy activities like jumping on a trampoline or exercising. If you do experience bleeding, lie down on a dark-colored towel or cloth to prevent blood stains.
Remember, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to feel about having sex for the first time. It’s totally normal to be nervous and even a little scared, but being with the right person in a safe place can make it easier and more enjoyable! Remember, sex can mean so much more than penetrative PIV intercourse. Explore your options—hand sex, oral sex, anal sex, fingering—to find out what feels best for you and your partner.
Take a Short Trip to the Bathroom
Whether it’s your first time having sex or you’ve done it a million times, the experience can be nerve-wracking and scary. However, a little bit of preparation and planning can make it much easier on yourself and your partner.
Start by removing any distractions. This means putting down your phone, muting the TV, and putting away your sex toys (that’s right, put those Pikachu-catching tools away). This will allow you to focus on yourself and your partner.
Thoughtful touches to your bedroom can also help create an intimate and sensual atmosphere. This could include playing your partner’s favorite playlist, dimmer lighting, candles and/or scents.
Don’t forget to stash some lubricant by the bed, too. You’ll probably need it at some point during intercourse, and you don’t want to have to get up in the middle of that to run to the bathroom. Plus, a good quality lube can actually help you feel more cum. Try a warm-lube or an organic one for the best results. You can even find beautiful bedside dispensers with hands-free dispensing, so you don’t have to worry about fumbling for it in the heat of the moment.
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