Attraction can ebb and flow. Sometimes, it feels like a spark has died and other times you feel that same ember burn brighter than ever.
It’s important to understand what causes sexual attraction to die in a relationship, so you can address it effectively. To get started, try meeting with a therapist online with BetterHelp.
1. You’re not attracted to his personality
While we might be inclined to think that a relationship is not worth it without the sexual spark, that’s not necessarily true. In fact, you can have a solid and loving relationship that doesn’t include sexual attraction at all. If you’re not attracted to your boyfriend, it can be a sign that other aspects of the relationship are important to you.
For example, you might find that your relationship is built on strong mutual respect and care, and that other things — like the future of the relationship or your shared goals for life — are more exciting than sex. In this case, you’re probably more invested in the relationship and might want to keep working at it to make it better.
In other cases, you might not be attracted to your partner because of a lack of intimacy. In this situation, you’re not able to see your partner for who they really are. This can be a huge turnoff and may lead you to feel less interested in your relationship.
Lastly, you might not be attracted to your boyfriend because of an underlying medical issue. Certain medications – such as hormonal birth control or antidepressants – can have a major impact on libido and might be the reason you’re not feeling any excitement about your relationship.
2. You’re not attracted to his body
There’s a common misconception that romantic feelings and sexual attraction are mutually exclusive. However, it’s important to remember that they aren’t. Romantic feelings are based on emotions and spirituality, while sexual attraction is more of a shallow experience that’s largely influenced by physical appearance.
So, if you are no longer attracted to your boyfriend’s body, it’s likely that something else is going on in your relationship. This could be a sign that you are no longer interested in spending time with him outside of sex and it’s time to start exploring other parts of your relationship.
It’s also possible that you’re not attracted to his body because you’ve been distracted by other things in your life. This could be work stressors, parenting responsibilities or other big life events that have taken over and left you feeling less than sexy.
If this is the case, it’s essential to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on. This is a sensitive topic and it’s not going to be easy for anyone, but it’s important to discuss what you’re feeling so that you can figure out the best course of action. In some cases, this might mean ending the relationship, but it can also be a chance to find a new one that is more suited to your needs.
3. You’re not attracted to his personality
There are many reasons why you may not be sexually attracted to your boyfriend anymore. Depending on the reason, you and your partner can work on it together. The key is to be honest and communicate with your boyfriend. If you’re not sure what the problem is, it could be helpful to consult with a relationship coach or counselor. They can help you tease out what’s going on and make sure that your needs are met in the relationship.
Sometimes, loss of attraction can actually be a good thing for a relationship. It can mean that you’re spending more time on other aspects of your relationship and not so much on sex. It can also mean that you’re starting to focus on what you have in common with your boyfriend rather than what you don’t. It’s also possible that you have lost your libido for a valid medical reason. For example, hormonal birth control pills can affect your libido and antidepressants can have similar effects.
However, if you’re only sexually attracted to your boyfriend and are not having romantic feelings, then that might be a sign that it’s time to move on. It’s hard to feel love for someone when you only see them as a potential partner in the bedroom. If you want to keep the relationship, try focusing on building a strong emotional and mental connection and let your physical attraction develop naturally over time.
4. You’re not attracted to his body
If you feel like your attraction is gone, it’s important to recognize that this may not be a sign of anything wrong. Loss of sexual attraction can be very normal, especially in long-term relationships. The key is to understand what went wrong and how to get it back.
Sometimes, sexual attraction can disappear because we are focused on the emotional or non-sexual parts of our relationship. This can be caused by many different things, such as stress from work, having children, or taking on caregiving responsibilities for other people in our life. These issues can put a lot of pressure on the relationship, and cause us to focus more on day-to-day tasks than on being romantic and sexual.
It’s also easy to confuse feelings of romantic attraction and sexual attraction. While they can co-exist in a relationship, they are two separate things. Romantic attraction is a feeling of wanting to kiss and cuddle – it’s more about the emotional connection than the physical part of the relationship. Sexual attraction is a desire to engage in sexual activity with a person.
If you and your boyfriend are not sexually attracted to each other anymore, it’s time to talk about it. You can start by focusing on everything you do love about your partner. You can also try talking to a therapist. BetterHelp matches you with licensed therapists who can help you talk about these issues in a safe and supportive environment.
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