A good BJ starts with foreplay. It’s important to talk with your partner about their desires and preferences, Velvet Co sexpert Julieta Chiara explains.
While your mouth pleasures his penis, try stimulating other erogenous zones on his body, like massaging his balls or stroking his perineum. And lube is always an A+ move.
Offer to do it
Whether it’s a first-time head job or a hundredth, guys love the feeling of someone genuinely enjoying their dick. This enthusiasm is what makes the experience of oral sex so mind-blowing. To heighten the intensity, try a dominant position like straddling his head/shoulders and lowering yourself down into his mouth, telling him to lick it!
A lot of women fear that they won’t be able to give a good blowjob. Whether it’s because they’ve never had one or because they were given an awful one in the past, that fear can cause them to refuse to go down on their partner. In these cases, it’s important to be clear about the situation and make sure that she knows that you understand her decision.
Another important don’t is to be too repetitive with your blow jobs. As much as a guy loves to hear your dirty talk and watch you kiss around his crotch, it can become too boring after a while. Try to mix things up and play with his other “boys”, if you know what we mean!
Lastly, it’s important to remember that not every blowjob will end in orgasm. Pleasure isn’t based on whether or not you can get to the Big O, but rather on how you and your partner interact and feel about each other.
Ask for his consent
The thing about oral sex is that it gets up close and personal. And while that can be thrilling, it can also be a bit overwhelming. That’s why it’s a good idea to ask for consent before you give your partner head, even during foreplay. It can help prevent any misunderstandings, and it’ll also ensure that your partner is comfortable with where things are going.
If you’re not sure how to talk about this, try broaching the topic via text. That way, you can keep the conversation intimate without being too pushy or rude. It’s also a great way to let your partner know that you value their preferences and want them to be able to enjoy themselves during sex.
Of course, if your partner is reluctant to allow you to give them a blowjob, there could be a reason for it. For example, if they’ve lost their virginity, they may be worried about penetrative sex. Or, they might have a bad experience with oral sex in the past that makes them hesitant to try it again. Ultimately, it’s their choice, but you should never use a refusal to grant you head as a bargaining chip in a relationship. That’s not healthy for anyone.
Let him know what you’re up to
Men love foreplay, and the more they know what’s coming, the more they’re going to be geared up for it. This can be as simple as a little bit of dirty talk, whispering “trigger” words and phrases in their ear, touching specific parts of the body, or just making them think about what you’re up to and wanting it more than anything else.
When you do finally get him down on your mouth, it’s important not to focus too much on how you look. Guys don’t care about how you look while they’re enjoying themselves. They’re thinking about how big their cock is and getting excited. And that’s what matters.
Play with his head, his balls (one at a time if he doesn’t mind), the area around his pee hole, the way you lick him and trace him. It’s a lot of fun, and it’s really what gets them going. It’s also an amazing way to let him know that you’re not just giving him oral sex because you feel like it, but because you enjoy doing it. Just remember that his head is a lot more sensitive than you’re used to licking, so be gentle with him! He’ll thank you for it later. And don’t forget to moan and make a lot of noise. It really turns them on to hear you doing something that you’re genuinely enjoying.
Don’t feel pressured
For many people, giving head is an intensely personal experience. If your girlfriend or wife decides she doesn’t want to give you a blowjob, don’t make her feel embarrassed about it. You may be disappointed, but remember that a woman’s sexual desires are her own business. She should be able to decide how intimate she wants to be with you, and her decision should be respected.
If she does go down on you, don’t forget to use your hands! Your fingers can tease and massage her, and your hands can also be used to control how deep you take her. The skin on her inner and outer thighs can be very sensitive, so try gently tickling it or rubbing it to create an irresistible sensation for your lover.
Another way to increase the pleasure is by using your tongue. You can lick her shaft and tongue, and you can also play with the area around the anus, known as the perineum. Many men love the way their tongue feels against this area, and you can lick it to make her orgasm even more intense.
Of course, you can also try whispering naughty things in her ear to get her hot and ready. But don’t compare her to other girls or make comments about her body that are inappropriate. She will be very angry if you do.
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