In BDSM, brat subs misbehave and break rules. Doms who enjoy this dynamic are known as Brat Tamers. They get a thrill from seeing their bratty sub being punished and put back in their place.
But not all subs want to be brats. For some, it’s simply a side of their personality that they like to express.
1. Be patient.
When a brat starts misbehaving, it’s important to remember that they’re doing so for a reason. They’re trying to provoke a reaction from their Dom, whether that be through punishment or play. It’s crucial that the Dom is in a frame of mind where they can manage this behavior and respond healthily, so it’s a good idea to have a safeword in place if either party becomes too uncomfortable with the dynamic.
A brat “may taunt, push boundaries and really test their Dom’s limits in the hope of getting a reaction,” Karsh says. It’s a form of submission that can be very hot—provided it’s done with enthusiastic consent.
A naughty brat can be a pleasure to tame, but it’s important for the Dom to keep in mind that it will not be easy to get their way. They need to be patient and work with the brat, not against them. That means establishing rules and punishing when needed. It also means communicating clearly over text so that both parties understand the boundaries and expectations.
2. Don’t get frustrated.
Some Doms like their subs to be a little bit bratty, especially in the context of BDSM. Brats enjoy questioning dominance, as well as demonstrating their mischievousness in playful ways. They also like the element of surprise, teasing and sexual wind-up.
A key component to being a brat sub is quick thinking and having sharp responses for their Dominant. This makes a fun and engaging dynamic for both parties, providing a lot of opportunities for sex. Brats are also good at reading the room and will know when to be a little less brattish.
It’s important to understand that being a brat is not punishment, but rather a form of self-expression. Many brats feel like this is a way to assert their own personality and playfulness with their Dominant, and that is what turns them on. The key is to ensure that all of this is consensual. This requires open communication to agree on boundaries, hard limits and a shared understanding of what is acceptable. Also, make sure that everyone is on the same page as to what kind of behavior will be punished and not rewarded.
3. Don’t give up.
Brats can be a lot of fun but they are also quite devious. They will often push boundaries to see what the Dom will do and they enjoy a challenge. The trick is to find ways of correcting them that make them happy. It may be something as simple as spanking or as complex as orgasm counting. You will need to have a good imagination to preempt their antics!
It’s important to determine why they are behaving a certain way before you can get the most out of their kink. They may be doing it for a reaction, which can be very hot, or they could be looking to punish themselves for their misbehavior. In both cases, this is still submission.
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4. Be consistent.
Brats are often playful and sassy, making them fun to interact with. They also like attention. So, if you can provide both of these things and stay consistent with your rules, punishments, and rewards, you can earn their trust.
They are also known to “act out” to test their Doms and see how they respond. They want to know they can control their naughty behavior and that their Doms will not let them get away with it.
Doms who enjoy playing with bratty subs, also called Brat Tamers, find it a rush to challenge their sub to play in ways that are naughty and amusing. They might spank them or punish them with other methods, such as revoking their privileges, tickling, or making them kneel for long periods of time. They also enjoy the element of surprise, knowing that their sub can go from sassy to little pussycat in an instant. This can keep a relationship from becoming stale and boring. Brat taming is a great way to show dominance and assert authority. It’s also a way for Doms to get their erotic thrills too.
5. Be yourself.
Gigi Engle, a writer, certified sexologist and sex coach, tells us that it’s important to be yourself when working with a brat. “One size doesn’t fit all, and you should never feel that you need to act a certain way because it’s ‘what Doms expect’.”
A brat’s submission is more than just a submissive ‘yes, sir’—it’s playful and consensual and often done for a reaction. A good Dom will match this energy and be able to handle a brat’s quick temper. They’ll also be able to make the punishments they deliver effective and pleasurable, says Karsh.
As a sex educator and volume squirting champion, Lola Jean says that the key to successfully taming a brat is understanding what motivates their behavior. It’s not always easy, but a good Dom will take the time to learn this and make adjustments based on what they discover. Having an understanding of their motivations will help them encourage the behavior they want and discourage the behavior they don’t. This will lead to a more successful and satisfying erotic dynamic for everyone involved.
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