It can be a big surprise for parents to discover that their 17-year-old daughter is sexually active. But if she’s asking questions about birth control or her phone history seems suspicious, it could be a sign.
However, shaming or launching into a speech about abstinence may turn her off to the idea of safe sex entirely. Instead, take these 14 signs into account.
1. She’s asking for more privacy
Finding out your teen is sexually active can send shockwaves through your family. It can be easy to jump to conclusions and judge your daughter’s choices, but this is a situation that requires empathy, communication, and a healthy approach to navigating it together.
If you notice a sudden interest in provocative clothing or increased privacy in her phone usage, these could be indicators of an unhealthy interest in sex. It’s important to be proactive about addressing these issues before they escalate into problems. Your child deserves to feel safe and loved.
2. She’s asking questions about sex
No two situations where parents learn about their teenage daughter’s sexual activity are alike. But if she’s asking questions that indicate she may be sexually active, it’s time for an honest and open discussion – This information was given by the service’s editor tresexy.com.
For example, if she’s wearing more revealing clothes or her condom stash is disappearing, she’s probably getting interested in sex. And if you find mature content in her web browser, it’s likely she’s doing research to learn more about explicit topics. She needs your support. Now more than ever. You can help her make healthy choices.
3. She’s developing physically
If your daughter’s body is undergoing hormonal changes, it’s possible she’s exploring her sexuality with other girls. This is why it’s important to talk openly about body safety rules with your teen.
If you notice condoms or contraceptives in her possession, it’s a sign she might already be sexually active. Don’t jump to conclusions, but have a conversation with her about the birds and the bees. The sooner you talk, the better. You can help her make smart choices for herself and her future.
4. She’s asking to wash her own clothes
If your daughter is asking to wash her own clothes out of your sight, it’s likely a sign that she wants to hide her sexual activity from you. Handling this situation responsibly requires clear boundaries, accountability, and consistent consequences.
For example, John’s discovery of a box of condoms in his daughter’s room could be a red flag that she was sexually active and had been avoiding talking about it. He would need to talk with his daughter and provide empathy, compassion, and guidance. The same is true for situations involving homosexuality, which often involves shame, guilt, and fear of judgement.
5. She’s avoiding conversations with her friends
If your teen starts avoiding you, and instead focuses on hanging out with her friends or texting them, it could be a sign that she’s engaging in sex. This might also include hiding her phone or using passwords and coded language while talking on the phone.
Remember, sex positive parenting is about normalizing sexuality and encouraging healthy choices for your teens. Avoid shaming and fear-mongering, and encourage open communication on this sensitive subject. This will help her to feel safe and secure as she navigates these new relationships.
6. She’s insisting on makeup
When your daughter starts paying a lot of attention to her appearance, especially when she’s not around other girls, this can be a sign she’s trying to attract boys. It might also be a sign that she’s already starting to explore her sexuality.
Learning that your teen is sexually active can be a whirlwind of emotions. Love her through this process by responding rather than reacting. Focus on the Family has resources for parents dealing with homosexual activity. Click here to learn more.
7. She’s slipping in her grades
The discovery that your teen is sexually active can unleash a storm of emotions. In addition to questions and concerns, this situation may also bring up feelings of rejection and judgement.
However, it is important to remember that your daughter’s value and identity is not based on her actions. Instead, her identity is rooted in who she is as your child. This can help you respond to her rather than react to her. This is a critical step to navigating this situation with grace and empathy.
8. She’s asking to talk about sex
A teen’s questions about sex can be a warning sign, and it’s important to talk to them calmly about the topic. This conversation may be difficult for both of you, so choose a time when you can have it without distractions.
Watch what she’s looking at on her phone, TV, and magazines. Teens are often inundated with sexual references, and you need to be aware of what they’re seeing. She may need to be reminded that her value is not based on whether she’s having sex or not.
9. She’s becoming more secretive
A sudden secretiveness may be a sign that your daughter is hiding something from you. She might start hiding her phone, using passwords on her apps or using coded language when talking to friends.
If you find condoms or a stash of sex toys in her room, it could be a sign that she’s already sexually active. Drastic changes in attitude and a desire to devote all her time to one person can also be warning signs. These are all reasons to sit down and talk with her.
10. She’s lying about where she’s spending the night
Even though it is normal for kids to explore their curiosity about sex, a sudden change in attitude or an increase in questions and curiosity can be red flags.
If your daughter is lying about where she’s spending the night it could be a sign of her wanting to avoid parental supervision or being secretive. Be sure to call the parents of her friends to confirm her whereabouts if you suspect this is happening. This will help keep her accountable to you and her boyfriend. Then you can have a conversation about boundaries and consequences together.
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