Whether you call them rubbers, love gloves, cock sock or condoms, they’re essential for preventing sexually transmitted infections. But they’re not always foolproof.
Sometimes guys go soft before, during or after putting on a condom. If this happens to you, there are a few things you can try. First, make sure the condom is lubricated.
Try a new condom.
There are lots of different brands, sizes and types of condoms. Often, it’s just a matter of finding the one that fits best and feels most comfortable. If you lose an erection while using a condom, it may be a sign that the condom isn’t right for you. It could also be that you’re using too much lubricant or an oil-based lubricant (like baby or massage oil). Using a water-based lubricant can help keep the condom from slipping and tearing.
Another possible cause of going limp while using a condom is that you’re using the wrong size condom. A standard condom should fit most people, but if you’re losing an erection during sex, it might be time to try a snugger-fitting condom.
If you’re having trouble opening or putting on a condom, try getting your partner involved. Ask them to massage you or stimulate your cock while you unwrap and put on the condom. Having a partner help can also make the experience more intimate and sexy. You can even turn the condom-application process into sexy foreplay by making it part of your masturbation routine. (Just make sure to use a water-based lubricant and not an oil-based one – oil can break down latex condoms.) You can also try adding a bit of lube to the tip of the condom before you put it on.
Try a new lube.
If you’re finding that a condom is going soft too quickly, try using a different type of lubricant. There are many options out there, including water-based lubricants that feel more like your body’s natural lubrication and are pH balanced (so they won’t irritate your vagina). You can also find warming or tingling lubes to boost arousal and pleasure. However, be careful that you are not using an oil-based lube with a latex condom or you could cause it to break down and become brittle.
You may also want to try putting a few drops of lube in the reservoir tip of your condom before placing it on. This can help increase the pleasure for both partners. Just make sure the lube doesn’t touch your penis before you put on the condom, as it can lead to slippage and leakage.
It is important to remember that condoms only work if they are properly put on and used (Crosby, 2002; Graham, 2006). If you’re having trouble keeping an erection while wearing a condom, try practicing putting it on alone without your partner around so you can get comfortable with the sensation. Or, make putting the condom on part of the foreplay and ask your partner to stimulate you with their hands or mouth while you do it (for some people this can be really sexy!).
Get your partner involved.
If you have a hard time getting an erection when wearing a condom, try having your partner help you put the thing on. It’s a great way to make it a sexy moment and can also be fun if your partner is up for it. You might even ask them to continue stimulating you with their hands or mouth as they put the condom on. This can help you stay rock hard during the condom-into-sex transition.
Some men lose their erections when using condoms because they stop stimulation while fumbling with the contraceptive, which can lead to orgasm fatigue. You can avoid this by doing a little pre-sexy foreplay (or masturbating) while you’re still in the foreplay stage to keep your orgasms going.
You should also try out different brands and sizes of condoms. Different ones fit differently, and it may be that the one you’re using is too big or too small. Try some different lubes as well. There’s a good chance that you’ll find a combo that’s a match made in heaven. If you don’t have luck, never let it discourage you from having sex with your partner. Just talk to them about safe sex and make sure you have a backup plan for pregnancy prevention like the morning after pill or an IUD. That’s always a better choice than an unintended pregnancy and the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
Take your time.
If you and your partner are having trouble staying hard while using a condom, try different things until you find what works for you. This could mean trying out different condom brands, fits and textures — as well as adding or subtracting lubes based on how they feel. It can also help to talk about it with your partner, especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past that have left you feeling nervous.
You might be surprised to learn that the reason you can’t keep an erection while wearing a condom may not actually be the condom itself. When you’re nervous or stressed, your body releases a chemical called adrenaline. This is great for getting your body ready to fight or run a mile, but it can also switch off any bodily functions that aren’t immediately needed for survival.
Another potential problem is a simple mistake like putting the condom on before your penis is fully erect. This can make it difficult to get an erection and can cause a leak or even loss of semen through the condom. To avoid this, take your time while you’re putting the condom on. Hold the reservoir tip between your fingers and roll it down the head of your penis with your other hand, making sure there’s space at the base for your semen.
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